Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Christmas Time.

Originally, I was going to post this as a status update. I've found that i've been going a little overkill with the updates. So instead, I decided to make it a semi-short blog entry. The Holiday season officially started a little less than a week ago (at least for me). Some people start in October, can you beleive that? Somehow amidst all the chaos, I find my holiday spirit when it's all too late. No matter how much I try, I stay Ebenezer Scrooge until about the 20th of December. I wish I knew how people start putting up Christmas lights in October. I forget what snow feels and even looks like, ( I guess you would call it ) "living" in the southwest United States. The people driving on icy roads are reminded every year. I'm sure they don't miss it when they have to plow out their driveways and walk around in wet boots. Growing up in New York, I suppose my tolerance for the cold is quite substantial compared to the natives of this area. I know i'm living in the wrong area of the country when I walk around in a T-shirt when everyone else is bundled up like frosty the snowman. With temperatures reaching well over 100 everyday, I swore back in July that I would NEVER complain about being cold again. So therefore, I welcome winter with open arms. Especially this year.

Christmas is just around the corner, and businesses are thriving with holiday cheer. I apologize to all my friends of other faiths. I personally am not a devout Christian, but I do celebrate the holiday. Now I finally get to the point of why i'm writing this blog in the first place. I find that it seems to be a tradition of being nice, and giving on the holidays. *Scrooge alert* For one month out of the year, everyone becomes nice all of a sudden. Then come January 2nd, they're all back to their devious ways. People should be nice year round, and not "perform" when it's the holiday season. To me, it kind of defeats the purpose of an act of kindness, when it's done because it's almost mandatory. The department store bell-ringers wouldn't need to stand outside of Wal-Mart, Macys and various shopping destinations begging for money, if people had contributed year-round.

I hope everyone can carry this kindness and generosity into the new year, and not just pretend during the holidays. For those who can, are truly the ones with spirit. Not just "holiday spirit".

Thursday, November 4, 2010


Emphasizing on my last blog, I figured I would continue with a similar idea. Whilst my old friends and I grow up, i've begun to realize that people are getting married all around me. Some even younger than I. There seems to be this sense of urgency now a days, or at least when someone reaches their mid 20's, THEY MUST BE MARRIED. Almost as if someone's life isn't complete because they're not married. Like the baby boom generation right after World War II, perhaps it has to do with a lot of soldiers coming back from Iraq / Afghanistan. Maybe not, because the people I know getting married aren't exactly engaged to G.I. Joe the All American Hero. I hate to say it, but it's almost become this cultural phenomenon that you're freaking awesome if you're married.

Maybe it's just my cynical side coming out, but I compare it to a deep blue ocean. It may appear pristine and non-polluted from the surface, but when you dive in you don't know what jagged rocks and sunken vessels linger there from previous engagements. Who knows? some people get lucky and find treasure, others may be diving into shark infested waters. Walking the isle, almost like walking the plank to their doom. Some of us aren't seaworthy, like myself.

I personally am much older than a lot of people getting married. I often have to ask the question "What is the urgency?". I'm only 26 and I sound like I should be in my 50's. I understand it's the ultimate way to tell someone you love them, but shouldn't you make sure that it's something you can handle for the rest of your life? Referring to my analogy earlier, it appears perfect, but there is a lot of sacrifice involved. This is something I don't think many people take into account beforehand. Yes you're nearly old enough to drink and already married, you'll be supposedly stuck with this person FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. They should start handing out prenuptial agreements with bottles of Jack. Or even Drivers Licenses. Don't drink and drive.

Yeah so I might grow old and become this cat person. I already have 4 cats, so I believe I am already on my way. Go me. There also seems to be this invisible clock ticking down for everyone before all the babies magically disappear from the universe. I'm personally not trying to offend anyone, just wondering what the big deal is with becoming adults before actually becoming adults. I truly hate to see people growing up too fast, and already settling in before they've even given themselves a chance to live. I mean, if children and spouses give you happiness, then go for it. Just make sure you're ready for it.

To me it almost seems contagious. Someone gets married, then their friends start thinking "shouldn't I be married?". So they go off and get hitched just so they're not the "Unmarried" one. Which perhaps has it's own stigma. I've seen this case a lot. Even in myself, but I realize I am not ready for it. Not nearly.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

He's Back.. Again.

No not the suicidal maniac, but me. I am sorry to disappoint anyone who actually still reads this babbling nonsense. It's been a long time since I have posted, and I found the drive again to write. I think it's been 2 months exactly. My birthday and Halloween have long since come and gone, and summer's finally over. It is now getting ready for winter. I almost feel that i've been neglecting my poor old blog, and forgotten to jot down my inane ramblings.

Things have changed, and I guess the things that needed changing did so themselves. I'm still alive, border-lining on insanity, but I still have a pulse. I forgot to even post on my favourite holiday in the universe. I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't do much besides engage in horror marathons all month long, which I still continue even though it's well into November. It's November already!?

It's amazing how people lose touch, who are even the best of friends. It happens all the time that friends in high school go off to college and swear up and down that they'll still hang out and keep in touch. If it wasn't for a certain social networking place, I would have lost touch with all of them long ago. I don't mean to be cynical but it's a sad truth. I wonder where they are, what they've gotten themselves into. If they've gotten themselves out of it. My old friends, I mean. Personally, I would give a lot to go back in time and do it all over again. I guess this means I enjoyed the time I had with them.

I suppose it's hard to write in these blogs and not get all nostalgic and reminisce about the "good 'ol days" (boy I sound old). Trying to speak from experience and to those who have experienced the same thing, I know it happens to almost everyone. I wonder how people truly live into their 30's and still hang out with the same friends. I would bet that moving has a big part to do with it, which I have been a victim of a handful of times. So some words of advice. Don't move. Unless you absolutely hate it, and there's crack babies everywhere in your neighborhood. Only if you start growing a third ear from the radioactivity in your home town. Which actually might prove pretty useful. If you have a good family, I guess what they say is true. The only people who will be there for you for most of your life is your family. People come and go, lovers will stray but your family will help you most of the way.

I hope this isn't my final entry for the month, but i'll be back.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Commercial Rant

As the summer is in full swing and monsoon season has arrived, we are starting to get some really buggy and soaking rains. Not only has this brought out bugs, but giant frogs as well..that seem to be invading my yard everytime it rains. Last night I put my porch light on and there was about 6 of them sitting there. I unfortunately had to put one out of it's misery yesterday, which I was not happy about. He wasn't doing too well, and he wouldn't leave.. I also found a giant toad swimming in my dog's water bowl. I kicked it and he stuck his head up out of the water and looked at me. It seemed I ticked him off a little bit... I try to shoo them away, and they sit there and look at me. I try not to hurt them because they really are harmless to humans, but some of them a potentially lethal to dogs and cats.

I've spent the last few days engaging in the Harry Potter marathon, it was perfectly timed since I read half of the series recently. I forgot how long they were as I sat there glued to the television for several hours. One thing that has bugged me is the commercials recently. Not to mention the fact that there seems to be 30 minutes of commercials for every hour of the movie, I find them several decibels louder than the actual movie. Which makes me fumble for my remote in risk of ruining my ears for life during every commercial break. I don't know if it's just me or if i've become more aware of people's intentions these days, but it seems that the companys really don't care if they annoy you with their commercials. It seems they are more concerned with being noticed and obnoxious than actually appealing to the consumer's tastes. I find half of the commercials are so irritating, that it actually repels me from wanting anything to do with their company. Between the screaming, and (trying to be catchy) jingles, not to mention their horrible attempts to appeal to the "new generation", it's amazing anyone watches television anymore. Between the gadgets and gizmos, weight loss commercials, teenage soap operas, and the calorie watch craze...Even commercials are pressing their opinions recklessly. Everyone is trying to be politically correct everywhere else.. So what if I don't count every single calorie in the foods I eat? Does this make me fat? No. Does this make me "bad" like these commercials make it sound by "not staying on track". No. I love how they show these people on diets in the commercials who are already thin. I may not be perfectly toned and tanned like they portray the way people are "supposed to look", but it won't kill me if I don't buy foods that are "only 60 calories!!". I know how to work out, and I understand that much of this country is overweight.. but my question is... Why make them feel even worse about themselves?

I think people should lose weight for themselves, and not the stigma and the pressure society puts on them. People have enough stress these days, than to worry about every little morsel they consume everyday, and how they're not burning it off. If you look good, then that's great for you. I've learned that the outside rarely reflects the person inside. I've met some really horrible, good looking people. More often than not, actually. I truly think that if they actually stuffed their face with a cheeseburger, they might actually stop talking about how great they are for 4 minutes. Being thin doesn't automatically make you attractive (in my opinion) and not everyone is graced with being born with a 6 pack, perfect teeth..and superhuman metabolisms. Also, almost no one is graced with a perfect personality. I wonder what we should be working on more?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Ahh yes, it's that time again. Time for another episode. Hopefully not a psychotic one or what have you. My:( I'm gradually becoming more and more muffin shaped as we speak. It may be due to me enjoying all the foods i've denied myself for my months and months of dieting. It's ok though. I've been slightly cynical lately, compared to my normal self. If that is even possible. Powering through half the Harry Potter series ( the first 3 books in 4 days ) , i've been reassured that they are definately better in book form! I'm not even a book worm or anything. I really wonder who still, or has somehow stumbled upon this blog in their vastness web searching. I know it matters very little now, but I wonder if a particular person still reads them. Or if they really stopped caring when I knew they did. Yes, i've been uncannily intuitive lately. It's been almost scary, I go into the computer room for no reason and then the phone rings. I get sudden urges to look out the window and there my cat is sitting in the driveway (it's not an outdoor cat, or supposed to be outside). A lot of other things. It usually happens when i'm under a lot of emotional stress. I am not normally a quitter, but something inside me told me to give up. I hate giving up on people, but when there really is no option, or room to work with. I suppose there is no other choice is there? There is only so far I can go out of my way for someone, or pretend it's working with them until I say enough is enough. I get tired of try to appease everyone else after a while.

Nevertheless I won't be conducting a psychic hotline or start reading palms on the corner. You won't find me preaching the apocalypse to you, or gazing into a crystal ball. I hate to disappoint anyone, but i'm not that psychic or psycho. My religious views have been shifting a lot lately too, out of respect for everyone else's religion..I will refrain from talking about a religion that isn't my own. Sorry to disappoint any of you once again. I really in my old age, am starting to believe that there a reoccurring types of people, personality wise and interests wise. It's amazing how you meet someone and they automatically remind you of someone you met once before. It is rare that I meet someone that totally throws me through the loop with their originality. Sad but true. I won't divulge stereotypes or pass people along like they come with some kind of recipe. I'm sure they wouldn't taste very good either. Unless you were Hannibal Lechter or someone.

I am about to warn you the following section is a bit gossipy...so I forewarn you. The other night I had a dream about my close friend. I really don't know how I am going to say this without totally giving it away, if she reads this, I suppose it's ok for her to know. Anyways, I had a very vivid and long dream the other night about my friend, who happens to be a female. I hang out with her at least once a week, and we do normal "friend things". In my dream we were doing these "friend things" and eventually locked eyes somewhere while we were driving and she parked the car and we started kissing. It was very vivid, like I said..and it seemed very right in the dream. I woke up amazed that it even happened, and it made me question if I had this dream for a reason. I wonder if this is a result of harboured feelings i've had, or just one of those loony dreams people sometimes have. We've never really talked about it between us, but have always remained friends, and nothing more. Heck, we've even slept in the same bed and nothing happened. I am extremely used to having friends as girls because 90% of my friends are female. It's never really been an issue keeping it just a friendship. I never had these dreams before, and I will admit right here...and i've told her this , that I think she's very pretty. I don't know if I should tell her, or if it would make her uncomfortable. I guess this is why I put this crap in my blog. Haha

The past few days i've been snake hunting in my 5 acres of property. I haven't found one yet. Why I look for them is probobly what you're thinking. I've had this recent fascination with them, and I kind of feel guilty about offing two of them. One nearly bit me, and the other was under my house. That is how I rationalize my reason for killing them. I think it all goes back to one of my earliest blogs about "how they can't control who they are" and if they were to change what they were, they most likely would be extinct right now. So I go looking for them, so I know where to look for them so I don't have an unexpected encounter with another. I guess they like hanging out with Shelob when i'm not looking. Oh and this is totally random, but I am getting my black cat, Ferguson...a Dracula cape.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

July 4th

KABOOM!!!! Happy 4th of July!!! Well, whatever is left of it. About an hour here. On the east coast it's the 5th of July. Unfortunately this year, there was no fireworks besides a few shells over the mountain. It was kind of depressing, but since we had a fireworks display in our backyard a few weeks ago, it wasn't all that bad. I spend the evening with my friend Victoria, and ate entirely too much. I've had a lot of ups and downs lately, Victoria seems to always make me feel better about even the worst things. She has a way of putting things in perspective. Since I am injured (YES I AM INJURED) newsbreak :( I totally snapped a ligament in my leg from running too much, so I have to take a week to recoop. At this point, I can't even walk down the stairs. So i've decided not to worry about dieting since I can't workout anyway. It is really depressing having an injury, I had one last year and it totally throws me off track.

We officially have a resident tarantula in our garden, it won't leave. SO I named it Shelob... It's actually an oversized funnel web spider. Which is more interesting than tarantulas, to be honest. I won't go into the Nat Geo explanation why... So after my caloric nightmare of a dinner, I am totally wiped out. Kind of like how you feel after Thanksgiving dinner, but even fuller. I wouldn't be suprised if I gain 5 more lbs by the time I get fully healed. Which will be in about a week.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Wanna see what Eharmony sent me?

(I don't know what is more embarrassing. The fact that I went to Eharmony or this result. Yes, I went to Eharmony to satisfy my curitosity...and this is what they say... FUCK YOU Eharmony. )

We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you.

eHarmony's patented matching system was developed after extensive research into marital satisfaction. We use each person's responses to our Relationship Questionnaire to predict the pairings of individuals that are highly likely to result in satisfying long-term relationships, based on what we learned through our research.

Unfortunately, based on responses to our questionnaire, we occasionally find situations where our matching system cannot identify high quality compatible matches, and this has happened in your case. Please understand that it is a result of our matching process and in no way reflects on you as a person or your ability to be in a happy relationship.

We apologize and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights.

We wish you all the best in your search for that special someone.